1
00:00:01,949 --> 00:00:03,511
Who wants some ice cream?

2
00:00:03,743 --> 00:00:07,505
Who's been a good boy all day and
deserves some delicious ice cream?

3
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:10,180
That's right,
Jamie gets ice cr...

4
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:16,261
That's it, Jamie.

5
00:00:16,296 --> 00:00:18,961
He sure loves his ice
cream, doesn't he?

6
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:25,000
Malcolm in the Middle - 6.04 - Pearl Harbor
Synchronisation par Dingo and Tyno, Forom.com

7
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:30,000
This place holds a surprising
number of living species...

8
00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:34,547
This blows.

9
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:35,699
Get up and change
the channel.

10
00:00:35,791 --> 00:00:36,637
I didn't lose the remote.

11
00:00:36,684 --> 00:00:37,752
You get up and
change the channel.

12
00:00:37,799 --> 00:00:38,656
I didn't lose it either!

13
00:00:41,694 --> 00:00:44,505
So the stupid cops let my dad
off with another warning.

14
00:00:44,595 --> 00:00:46,315
We've lived in this
neighborhood for three weeks

15
00:00:46,316 --> 00:00:47,901
and they still haven't
carted him off yet.

16
00:00:47,958 --> 00:00:48,575
No!

17
00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:52,361
Jessica, you don't get to keep barging
in here every day like you own the place!

18
00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:53,927
Go back outside
and knock.

19
00:00:54,592 --> 00:00:55,428
And then go away!

20
00:00:56,982 --> 00:00:58,622
Seriously, what do you
have to do to get

21
00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:00,340
popped for drunk and
disorderly around here?

22
00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:03,697
He was out on the curb in his underpants,
rolling burning trash cans into the street.

23
00:01:04,184 --> 00:01:06,546
The sad thing is, we're still
the worst family on this block.

24
00:01:06,673 --> 00:01:09,694
Coming up next, The Strongest
Man in the World Competition.

25
00:01:09,764 --> 00:01:10,760
Yes, finally!

26
00:01:12,253 --> 00:01:13,042
What are you doing?

27
00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:14,895
Watching House of Style.

28
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:16,706
You don't get to
change our TV!

29
00:01:16,823 --> 00:01:17,805
Malcolm,
back me up here!

30
00:01:17,974 --> 00:01:18,890
Reese, give her a break.

31
00:01:19,007 --> 00:01:21,884
Why? We live in just as big
a stink-hole as she does.

32
00:01:22,189 --> 00:01:23,575
Where do we get
to escape to?

33
00:01:23,622 --> 00:01:25,106
Reese, you're right.

34
00:01:25,876 --> 00:01:26,909
This is your house.

35
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,177
If you don't want to watch it,
you can get up and change it.

36
00:01:31,602 --> 00:01:32,367
Nice try.

37
00:01:36,895 --> 00:01:39,502
Dad, I need some help
with my homework.

38
00:01:39,654 --> 00:01:40,599
I don't think so, Dewey.

39
00:01:41,052 --> 00:01:43,104
I put in all this time and effort,
then you just have

40
00:01:43,105 --> 00:01:45,168
Malcolm correct everything
after I go to bed.

41
00:01:45,349 --> 00:01:46,688
I can't do this with Malcolm.

42
00:01:46,872 --> 00:01:49,913
I'm supposed to do a 300-word report
on how you're my personal hero.

43
00:01:51,334 --> 00:01:51,792
Me?

44
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:56,301
You think I'm your... hero?

45
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,746
Dad, don't freak out.

46
00:01:58,028 --> 00:01:59,484
We had to pick one
of our parents.

47
00:02:00,024 --> 00:02:00,999
Can I just watch
you for a while?

48
00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:03,600
Sure. As a matter of fact,
you can help me with my project.

49
00:02:03,955 --> 00:02:04,459
What are you doing?

50
00:02:04,718 --> 00:02:07,427
Well, you know that jerk across the
street who's always got it in for me?

51
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,444
Parking jerk
or lawn mower jerk?

52
00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:11,719
Huh? No, Christmas
jerk! Bill Rendall.

53
00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:14,599
Every year that guy waits to see
what decorations I put out

54
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,335
and then finds
a way to top me.

55
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,715
I string lights,
he strings better lights.

56
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,881
I put out Frosty, he
puts out an elf village.

57
00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:24,333
I put out Dracula, he does nothing
and I look like a jackass!

58
00:02:24,903 --> 00:02:27,792
I mean, what kind of sick mind uses
a religious holiday as a weapon?

59
00:02:28,132 --> 00:02:29,494
Wait. Which one is
call-the-cops jerk?

60
00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:30,750
That's like four of them.

61
00:02:30,786 --> 00:02:33,171
Anyway, I decided to
let Rendall have

62
00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:36,026
his precious little Christmas victory
if it's so damned important to him.

63
00:02:36,201 --> 00:02:36,670
Okay.

64
00:02:37,046 --> 00:02:39,207
I'm doing Pearl
Harbor Day instead.

65
00:02:39,524 --> 00:02:39,958
What?

66
00:02:40,357 --> 00:02:41,884
Pearl Harbor Day.

67
00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:44,709
December 7, 1941.

68
00:02:44,962 --> 00:02:47,087
The opening shot of
the Second World War.

69
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:51,011
I am going to build a spectacular
tribute to those courageous soldiers.

70
00:02:51,725 --> 00:02:54,819
It's going to be beautiful
and dignified and uplifting...

71
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,702
and it's gonna
be all mine.

72
00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,105
Want to help?

73
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,046
Yeah. It sounds fun.

74
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,490
Are you really gonna put up
a formation of flying zombies?

75
00:03:05,397 --> 00:03:07,841
Nah. I just drew them'
cause it looked cool.

76
00:03:09,507 --> 00:03:11,683
Jessica, your pasta
recipe is terrific.

77
00:03:11,773 --> 00:03:13,640
Look at us, eating
healthy for once.

78
00:03:14,155 --> 00:03:15,082
Reese, you want
some more?

79
00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:15,716
No.

80
00:03:16,069 --> 00:03:18,319
She took over the TV, now
she's taking over dinner?

81
00:03:18,488 --> 00:03:19,756
This isn't even food.

82
00:03:19,826 --> 00:03:21,435
Reese, it's just low-fat.

83
00:03:21,623 --> 00:03:23,902
And if you knew anything
at all about food,

84
00:03:23,979 --> 00:03:27,240
you'd know that fats and oils are
the vehicles by which flavor travels.

85
00:03:27,385 --> 00:03:29,177
Fat is what makes
things taste good.

86
00:03:29,463 --> 00:03:32,986
That's why a wise and loving God
created fat in the first place.

87
00:03:33,937 --> 00:03:36,470
She is a guest in our home,
and I think it's delicious.

88
00:03:40,108 --> 00:03:42,843
She can make me take it,
but she can't make me eat it.

89
00:03:46,763 --> 00:03:48,701
Do you think we should
cut up some of these guys

90
00:03:48,702 --> 00:03:50,515
so there's more body
parts floating in the water?

91
00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:52,050
Nah, that's a little gruesome.

92
00:03:52,195 --> 00:03:53,440
Just melt them
with a lighter.

93
00:03:53,757 --> 00:03:55,553
Okay, I have a little
announcement to make.

94
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,949
You know how last year,
with the conspiracy trial

95
00:03:58,019 --> 00:04:01,320
and your father and me losing our
jobs, we ended up $20, 000 in debt.

96
00:04:01,413 --> 00:04:01,694
Yeah?

97
00:04:01,753 --> 00:04:06,133
Well, after six months of scrimping and
saving and going up to $28, 000 in debt,

98
00:04:06,169 --> 00:04:08,861
we are now down
$26, 000 in debt!

99
00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:10,407
Look out world,
we're back!

100
00:04:10,865 --> 00:04:13,515
I know how much you boys have
sacrificed, kicking in your paychecks

101
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:16,926
and working extra shifts, and, well, we
thought you guys deserved a reward.

102
00:04:17,232 --> 00:04:17,678
Really?

103
00:04:18,147 --> 00:04:18,777
This is great.

104
00:04:19,016 --> 00:04:20,896
I thought she was going to
start charging us for water.

105
00:04:21,214 --> 00:04:23,846
So, your dad and I are
taking the whole family,

106
00:04:23,914 --> 00:04:26,389
and Jessica, to see...

107
00:04:27,202 --> 00:04:28,729
a musical!

108
00:04:30,642 --> 00:04:31,200
A what?

109
00:04:31,376 --> 00:04:32,544
A musical.

110
00:04:32,738 --> 00:04:33,760
From Broadway.

111
00:04:33,913 --> 00:04:35,322
It's called Mamma Mia.

112
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,613
They take all those
old ABBA songs

113
00:04:37,614 --> 00:04:40,430
like "Dancing Queen," and "Fernando,"
and stick some story in between.

114
00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:42,115
Oh, my God,
you're serious.

115
00:04:42,186 --> 00:04:45,156
Six partially obstructed seats.

116
00:04:45,379 --> 00:04:47,438
At first I thought of treating
you boys to a rock concert

117
00:04:47,439 --> 00:04:48,899
or Motocross or
something like that,

118
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,665
but then Jessica told me about this
and I thought this sounded perfect.

119
00:04:52,014 --> 00:04:54,915
Wow! I mean, I just mentioned
it'cause it was interesting.

120
00:04:54,938 --> 00:04:56,515
I didn't think you
were gonna take me.

121
00:04:56,782 --> 00:04:58,343
What a nice surprise.

122
00:05:02,259 --> 00:05:03,511
I need your Calculus notes.

123
00:05:03,617 --> 00:05:07,538
I couldn't listen to a word Mr. Jacobson
was saying in that stupid golf shirt.

124
00:05:07,726 --> 00:05:09,424
How can a man have
nipples that big?

125
00:05:10,403 --> 00:05:10,756
What?

126
00:05:11,002 --> 00:05:13,148
You can hang out here if you
need to get away from your dad,

127
00:05:13,206 --> 00:05:14,826
but don't act like
we're friends, okay?

128
00:05:14,956 --> 00:05:15,837
Why are you mad at me?

129
00:05:15,908 --> 00:05:17,656
Because I stick up
for you all the time.

130
00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:20,983
You turn around and manipulate my mom
into doing something only you want to do.

131
00:05:21,184 --> 00:05:22,887
Wait. You're talking
about the show?

132
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,410
Let me explain
something to you, Jessica.

133
00:05:24,798 --> 00:05:26,148
My family doesn't
have fun.

134
00:05:26,489 --> 00:05:27,534
We aren't nice.

135
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,763
And the one time Mom actually does do
something nice, you hijack it for your own...

136
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:33,241
I didn't do it for me,
I did it for Reese.

137
00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:34,556
What does Reese
have to do with it?

138
00:05:34,615 --> 00:05:35,953
You know what he
has to do with it.

139
00:05:36,341 --> 00:05:36,912
No, I don't.

140
00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:39,088
Please tell me
you're kidding.

141
00:05:39,394 --> 00:05:40,113
About what?

142
00:05:41,669 --> 00:05:42,315
Oh, my God.

143
00:05:43,642 --> 00:05:45,179
You honestly don't know.

144
00:05:46,577 --> 00:05:50,568
You are actually so self-involved and
narcissistic that you can't even see it.

145
00:05:50,781 --> 00:05:51,319
See what?

146
00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:52,154
You know what, Malcolm?

147
00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:54,192
Why don't you try to go
for maybe two seconds

148
00:05:54,193 --> 00:05:56,180
without thinking about yourself
and see what you notice?

149
00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:57,865
Stop insulting me.

150
00:05:58,041 --> 00:05:59,356
What the hell are
you talking about?

151
00:05:59,357 --> 00:06:02,786
And it never even occurred to you to
wonder why Reese is so angry all the time?

152
00:06:03,019 --> 00:06:04,684
Why he acts like
such a jerk?

153
00:06:04,836 --> 00:06:05,870
Because he's a jerk.

154
00:06:06,051 --> 00:06:08,289
That's right. Just because
he's your brother

155
00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,064
doesn't mean you should
put any thought into it.

156
00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:13,607
He couldn't possibly be dealing
with anything weird and confusing.

157
00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:16,570
He couldn't possibly be afraid
to admit that he wanted

158
00:06:16,571 --> 00:06:18,808
to go see a musical because
you'd make fun of him.

159
00:06:18,882 --> 00:06:20,374
Of course I'd
make fun of him.

160
00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:22,331
What kind of guy wants
to see a Broadway musical?

161
00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:23,643
Yes, Malcolm.

162
00:06:24,414 --> 00:06:27,325
What kind of a guy does want
to go see a Broadway musical?

163
00:06:31,712 --> 00:06:32,205
Come on.

164
00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:34,035
Maybe you're not
being selfish.

165
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,946
Maybe you're just too scared
where it leads if you think

166
00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:41,084
about how much he fusses over his hair
and his body and his gourmet cooking.

167
00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:45,193
Some people just don't want to see
what's right in front of their faces.

168
00:06:49,126 --> 00:06:49,860
Nuh-uh.

169
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:54,460
Look, maybe I'm butting in where
I don't belong, but you're his brother,

170
00:06:55,201 --> 00:06:57,448
and he should at least be able
to count on you for support.

171
00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:05,794
Thanks a lot for sticking
us with that stupid show.

172
00:07:06,229 --> 00:07:08,695
I didn't do it for me,
I did it for your brother.

173
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:09,775
Malcolm's gay?

174
00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:11,032
I knew it!

175
00:07:17,013 --> 00:07:19,665
Wow! Look at it go, huh?

176
00:07:19,808 --> 00:07:22,227
They may have been responsible
for one of the most devastating

177
00:07:22,332 --> 00:07:25,003
attacks in American history,
but by God, they make good toy.

178
00:07:27,006 --> 00:07:28,215
Is that what I think it is?

179
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,472
Dad, it's not really...

180
00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:30,857
I'm just gonna
take a little peek.

181
00:07:32,372 --> 00:07:34,187
"My Dad, My Hero."

182
00:07:40,071 --> 00:07:41,574
I might have
jazzed it up a little.

183
00:07:41,715 --> 00:07:44,658
Dewey, everything in this
report is just made up.

184
00:07:46,024 --> 00:07:47,154
Every word of it.

185
00:07:47,912 --> 00:07:49,157
I... I never did any of this stuff.

186
00:07:49,215 --> 00:07:51,705
Are you sure? I could've
sworn Mom said something

187
00:07:51,752 --> 00:07:54,081
about you giving your parachute
to an orphan in midair.

188
00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:57,475
You are not going to turn
in a paper full of lies.

189
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,411
But, Dad, it's due on Tuesday!

190
00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:00,986
You're just gonna have
to find another way.

191
00:08:02,077 --> 00:08:04,494
Let me explain something
about heroism, son.

192
00:08:05,012 --> 00:08:07,711
There are all kinds of
bravery in the world.

193
00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:09,648
All kinds.

194
00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:12,576
You don't have to be
a Special Forces Ranger

195
00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:15,084
or fight crime in
a cape to be a hero.

196
00:08:15,347 --> 00:08:17,800
There's the unsung bravery
of the common man.

197
00:08:18,269 --> 00:08:21,044
Normal people who prove
their courage every day,

198
00:08:21,045 --> 00:08:23,706
by standing up for
their families or...

199
00:08:24,175 --> 00:08:25,937
being decent to
other people and...

200
00:08:30,433 --> 00:08:31,126
Is it bleeding?

201
00:08:40,118 --> 00:08:40,505
Hey.

202
00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:41,304
Hey!

203
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:48,594
You want half?

204
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:49,792
I'll fix my own.

205
00:08:59,294 --> 00:09:00,186
Peanut butter's good, too.

206
00:09:00,855 --> 00:09:02,135
Nothing wrong with
having peanut butter.

207
00:09:03,227 --> 00:09:03,509
What?

208
00:09:03,955 --> 00:09:06,644
Just because I'm having ham doesn't
mean you have to have ham.

209
00:09:07,736 --> 00:09:09,255
Just because we're
brothers doesn't mean

210
00:09:09,313 --> 00:09:11,088
we have to enjoy
the same thing, right?

211
00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:14,011
Exactly.

212
00:09:14,247 --> 00:09:15,116
Everybody's different.

213
00:09:15,703 --> 00:09:18,039
It'd be stupid if I tried to force
you to like something I liked.

214
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,270
Right. Plus, it wouldn't
work anyway.

215
00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:21,903
People can't help
what they like.

216
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,020
That's just the
way they're born.

217
00:09:23,088 --> 00:09:27,609
I know. Like me,
I've never liked... ham.

218
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,080
Really? 'Cause maybe
if you tried it...

219
00:09:30,115 --> 00:09:32,206
No. But that's me.

220
00:09:32,734 --> 00:09:33,861
I'm not putting it
down or anything.

221
00:09:34,002 --> 00:09:34,601
I hear you.

222
00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:36,026
There's no...

223
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,386
right sandwich.

224
00:09:44,609 --> 00:09:46,253
So, um...
the ABBA thing...

225
00:09:46,347 --> 00:09:46,934
Should be great.

226
00:09:47,016 --> 00:09:47,991
Yeah, absolutely.

227
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:48,625
Just great.

228
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:53,069
Hey.

229
00:09:54,842 --> 00:09:55,985
Have a good snack.

230
00:09:57,213 --> 00:09:57,707
You, too.

231
00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,329
Hal, you have to get ready.

232
00:10:02,411 --> 00:10:05,241
The show starts in an hour, and we still
have to drop Jamie off on the way.

233
00:10:05,394 --> 00:10:07,679
Almost done. Hey, have
you seen Dewey around?

234
00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:09,731
I promised him he could
fire-bomb the Utah.

235
00:10:09,828 --> 00:10:10,732
He's doing schoolwork.

236
00:10:11,084 --> 00:10:12,254
It was so sweet.

237
00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:16,223
He told me this afternoon he's writing a
300-word report about how I'm his hero.

238
00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:22,550
What a wonderful night!

239
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:25,555
How could they say the theater is
dead when a spectacle like that

240
00:10:25,556 --> 00:10:27,369
is being bused all
over the country?

241
00:10:27,576 --> 00:10:30,168
Yeah, who knew you could use
the same three chords

242
00:10:30,241 --> 00:10:33,095
over and over and people would
sit through it for two hours?

243
00:10:33,224 --> 00:10:37,404
You can be Mr. Fancy Pants music snob
if you like, but everyone else loved it.

244
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:40,948
Thank you for including me.

245
00:10:41,006 --> 00:10:42,008
I had so much fun.

246
00:10:42,157 --> 00:10:43,011
Yeah, me, too.

247
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,969
I especially liked the
part where the father

248
00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:46,397
was stabbed in the
back by his son.

249
00:10:46,725 --> 00:10:48,051
That wasn't in the show, Hal.

250
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,393
Well, I saw it somewhere.

251
00:10:50,752 --> 00:10:52,595
I'm glad you boys
liked it so much.

252
00:10:52,654 --> 00:10:54,056
I've never seen
you like this.

253
00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:56,892
You didn't stop smiling
at each other all night.

254
00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:58,969
How could you not
love a show like that?

255
00:10:59,217 --> 00:11:01,354
Yeah, nothing creepy
about it at all.

256
00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:03,389
You guys want to
listen to the CD again?

257
00:11:03,499 --> 00:11:04,063
Again?

258
00:11:04,917 --> 00:11:06,692
Oh, yeah. Love ABBA.

259
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,173
I could listen to it forever.

260
00:12:02,295 --> 00:12:05,651
...and then I said, "You keep
your sexist, adolescent humor

261
00:12:05,652 --> 00:12:07,793
to yourself, Your Honor."

262
00:12:08,021 --> 00:12:11,363
Let's just say two days of picking up
trash on the freeway never felt so good.

263
00:12:11,721 --> 00:12:13,428
Wow, all these great stories:

264
00:12:13,514 --> 00:12:15,378
the judge, those bikers...

265
00:12:15,928 --> 00:12:19,444
I don't know any other way to say this,
Mom, but you're kind of a... bad-ass.

266
00:12:19,497 --> 00:12:21,408
You know I don't appreciate
that kind of language.

267
00:12:22,503 --> 00:12:27,123
If anyone cares, I'll be in the garage
alone, commemorating our heroic

268
00:12:27,124 --> 00:12:31,143
stand against a heartless,
back-stabbing, traitorous attack.

269
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:31,987
Okay, hon.

270
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:36,114
Then there was this time at the store
with this huge shoplifter and he...

271
00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:39,406
Beautiful Bianca is
ready to make

272
00:12:39,407 --> 00:12:42,551
the Fashionistas swoon
in her flowing crepe jumpsuit...

273
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:43,503
This is nice.

274
00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:45,466
What'd you think
of the Versace?

275
00:12:46,727 --> 00:12:50,210
Well, it has a nice drape,
and it seems like a...

276
00:12:50,796 --> 00:12:52,417
kicky look for fall.

277
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,413
Yeah, I think it's...

278
00:12:55,826 --> 00:12:56,441
yummy.

279
00:13:03,221 --> 00:13:04,255
Okay, you know what?

280
00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:05,031
This is stupid.

281
00:13:05,203 --> 00:13:06,279
We have to talk about this.

282
00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:06,779
Right.

283
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,503
I mean, just because it's weird
doesn't mean we can't handle it.

284
00:13:09,675 --> 00:13:10,244
We're brothers.

285
00:13:10,296 --> 00:13:12,277
Right. We've been through
everything together.

286
00:13:12,365 --> 00:13:14,037
We shouldn't be pussy
footing around about it.

287
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:15,695
I got you something.

288
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:17,243
Hey, I got you something.

289
00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:19,708
Really? See, this is
what I'm talking about.

290
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,234
We're being open and supportive
and honest with each other.

291
00:13:22,622 --> 00:13:23,088
Here.

292
00:13:24,588 --> 00:13:25,207
What's this?

293
00:13:25,277 --> 00:13:26,944
It's called
"If You're Gay, It's Okay."

294
00:13:27,335 --> 00:13:28,580
It's full of great resources.

295
00:13:29,645 --> 00:13:30,318
What's this?

296
00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:31,548
Naughty Pool Boys III.

297
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,491
I watched ten
or 12 of these,

298
00:13:33,675 --> 00:13:35,797
and this one seems to have
the most stuff you guys like.

299
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:37,599
Wait.

300
00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:39,825
I'm not gay. You're gay.

301
00:13:39,971 --> 00:13:41,057
No, I'm not. You are.

302
00:13:41,557 --> 00:13:42,402
I'm not gay.

303
00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:44,491
Malcolm, check out what
they're doing in that movie,

304
00:13:44,492 --> 00:13:45,552
and then tell me
you're not gay.

305
00:13:45,637 --> 00:13:46,792
No, this is...

306
00:13:47,534 --> 00:13:48,168
She said...

307
00:14:01,415 --> 00:14:02,432
Oh, my God!

308
00:14:03,139 --> 00:14:07,571
You plan, you hope, but you never
think it's going turn out this good!

309
00:14:09,324 --> 00:14:10,721
Stop laughing.

310
00:14:11,307 --> 00:14:12,573
I don't think I can!

311
00:14:14,807 --> 00:14:17,737
When you guys were dancing,
and you did that little...

312
00:14:18,185 --> 00:14:19,926
Oh, my God,
it was so sweet!

313
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,495
There's nothing more
I can ask for, honestly.

314
00:14:23,616 --> 00:14:25,771
You guys make
me so happy!

315
00:14:27,012 --> 00:14:28,622
Oh, God, it hurts!

316
00:14:30,605 --> 00:14:33,209
Well, I better go drag
my dad off the lawn.

317
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,126
He likes to fall asleep
right next to the toilet.

318
00:14:36,622 --> 00:14:38,842
See you guys at dinner.

319
00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:43,342
Vendetta.

320
00:14:43,497 --> 00:14:44,359
How could she be so...?

321
00:14:44,411 --> 00:14:45,204
Vendetta!

322
00:14:45,307 --> 00:14:46,623
Yes, vendetta.

323
00:14:47,273 --> 00:14:49,248
Reese, I promise,
we'll get back at her.

324
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,640
But we have to be careful.

325
00:14:50,744 --> 00:14:52,708
She's got Mom
totally on her side.

326
00:14:53,502 --> 00:14:54,210
Oh, yeah.

327
00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:55,210
It's tricky.

328
00:14:55,623 --> 00:14:57,996
Somehow, we've got to figure
out a way to turn Mom against her.

329
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,430
Okay, got it.

330
00:14:59,502 --> 00:14:59,933
What?

331
00:15:00,536 --> 00:15:02,674
It's a little risky, but
I'll tell you one thing.

332
00:15:02,898 --> 00:15:04,846
No one calls me gay
and gets away with it!

333
00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:06,286
Wow.

334
00:15:30,265 --> 00:15:31,439
Dad, it's beautiful.

335
00:15:33,129 --> 00:15:34,715
Well, I did what
I could on my own.

336
00:15:35,861 --> 00:15:36,472
Yeah.

337
00:15:37,861 --> 00:15:38,409
Sorry.

338
00:15:43,136 --> 00:15:45,066
Then he accused me of
loving Mom more than him

339
00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:47,226
just because I wouldn't
slash her boyfriend's tires.

340
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,727
I'm so sorry, honey.

341
00:15:48,831 --> 00:15:50,634
Parents shouldn't put
their kids in the middle.

342
00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:52,261
Or hit on their friends.

343
00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:54,210
Boys, come get
the groceries.

344
00:15:54,926 --> 00:15:56,473
I hope this means
we can eat soon.

345
00:15:56,805 --> 00:15:57,349
Hold it.

346
00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:58,914
What's that?

347
00:15:59,839 --> 00:16:00,253
What?

348
00:16:00,563 --> 00:16:01,070
That.

349
00:16:01,357 --> 00:16:01,789
A turtleneck.

350
00:16:01,858 --> 00:16:02,634
What do you care?

351
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,703
You don't wear
turtlenecks.

352
00:16:03,772 --> 00:16:05,013
Can I just get the
groceries so we can eat?

353
00:16:05,099 --> 00:16:06,323
I've got a ton
of homework...

354
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,513
Aha!

355
00:16:07,582 --> 00:16:08,513
Mom, don't!

356
00:16:08,599 --> 00:16:09,738
Who gave you that?

357
00:16:09,978 --> 00:16:11,013
None of your business!

358
00:16:11,444 --> 00:16:12,496
What is your
problem, anyway?

359
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,751
Can't you go five seconds
without butting into my life?

360
00:16:17,605 --> 00:16:18,157
What?

361
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:19,725
It wasn't her, Mom!

362
00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:20,797
I swear!

363
00:16:21,004 --> 00:16:23,102
You always think you know
everything, but you're wrong!

364
00:16:23,245 --> 00:16:24,839
You're dead wrong this time!

365
00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:28,139
I think you and I need
to have a little talk.

366
00:16:28,201 --> 00:16:28,649
But I...

367
00:16:28,684 --> 00:16:29,063
Come on.

368
00:16:35,246 --> 00:16:36,399
When your mom
comes out,

369
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,599
she's gonna want to know
what I said to you about this.

370
00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:40,631
Make up something good.

371
00:16:59,661 --> 00:17:01,885
He did it to me again.

372
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:08,039
I suppose you have a
good explanation for this.

373
00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:09,229
Not really.

374
00:17:10,022 --> 00:17:10,970
Lois, I'm sorry.

375
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,057
I'm not going to lie to you.

376
00:17:13,798 --> 00:17:16,442
I gave him the hickey to keep him
from doing something really stupid.

377
00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:17,781
Excuse me?

378
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,699
I'm not saying I was
smart either, but...

379
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,785
There's this girl that Malcolm's been
chasing, and she's really bad news.

380
00:17:22,854 --> 00:17:25,257
She's sexually active and I'm
pretty sure she's into drugs,

381
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:27,748
and the only reason why
he's interested in her

382
00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:29,890
is because he's so
insecure about himself.

383
00:17:30,964 --> 00:17:33,926
We got into this fight
and I was saying that

384
00:17:34,004 --> 00:17:37,368
he could do so much better and he
said that nobody liked him anyway,

385
00:17:37,369 --> 00:17:39,360
and I was telling him that
a lot of girls liked him

386
00:17:39,361 --> 00:17:41,405
because he's sweet and
cute and funny, and then

387
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,635
he kinda grabbed me
and we started kissing

388
00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:46,583
and I couldn't stop because
then he would think

389
00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:48,320
I was making the
whole thing up and...

390
00:17:50,374 --> 00:17:51,426
I'm sorry.

391
00:17:52,391 --> 00:17:53,719
I didn't know
what else to do.

392
00:17:57,903 --> 00:18:00,358
Wow, that's a pretty convincing
lie for just winging it.

393
00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:04,788
I mean, you went a little overboard with
the crying, but the basic story was good.

394
00:18:05,146 --> 00:18:06,439
Drug girl was
a nice touch.

395
00:18:06,525 --> 00:18:07,856
Creepy, a little sad.

396
00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:09,663
But how did you...?

397
00:18:09,732 --> 00:18:11,473
Sweetie, I'm a mother.

398
00:18:11,939 --> 00:18:13,510
It's my business to know.

399
00:18:14,336 --> 00:18:17,095
You've got talent, but
I turned pro 20 years ago.

400
00:18:17,991 --> 00:18:19,681
Which isn't to say
you haven't been useful.

401
00:18:20,147 --> 00:18:22,247
I never would've been able
to enjoy that play in peace

402
00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:23,462
if the boys weren't occupied.

403
00:18:23,546 --> 00:18:25,529
And the gay thing
was very entertaining.

404
00:18:26,097 --> 00:18:28,429
But more important,
those two idiots actually

405
00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:30,647
treated each other
decently for a few days.

406
00:18:31,201 --> 00:18:32,064
Thank you for that.

407
00:18:33,787 --> 00:18:34,757
So, here's the deal.

408
00:18:35,028 --> 00:18:37,131
As of today, you are
banned from this house.

409
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,579
You violated my trust.

410
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:39,891
I don't want you
around my boys.

411
00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:46,981
Knowing that, they will automatically
forgive you and sneak you back in.

412
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:51,861
You will be here every day after school until
6:00, except Thursdays when I work until 9:30.

413
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,285
You will have complete
run of the house, but

414
00:18:54,478 --> 00:18:56,512
I want Reese to do his half
hour of assigned reading

415
00:18:56,513 --> 00:19:00,142
and Malcolm to complete all his college
applications, not just the Ivy Leagues.

416
00:19:00,211 --> 00:19:01,178
And no junk food.

417
00:19:01,452 --> 00:19:02,251
Understood?

418
00:19:03,332 --> 00:19:04,090
For how long?

419
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:04,866
We'll see.

420
00:19:05,039 --> 00:19:06,738
"Ice Capades" are coming
in a few months.

421
00:19:07,010 --> 00:19:08,823
Sure would be nice
to go as a family.

422
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:14,824
Do you think
we have enough?

423
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:15,686
Let's hope so.

424
00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:18,393
I cleaned out every
bait shop in town.

425
00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:58,170
What the hell did
you do that for?

426
00:20:58,354 --> 00:20:59,716
Your stuff was
in my spot.

427
00:20:59,905 --> 00:21:00,664
I would've moved it.

428
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,345
Try asking, butt-munch.

429
00:21:02,397 --> 00:21:04,633
Right, like you hear anything
but the sound of your own voice.

430
00:21:04,744 --> 00:21:05,478
Get bent.

431
00:21:05,624 --> 00:21:06,210
Bite me.

432
00:21:09,382 --> 00:21:10,770
I liked you better
when we were gay.

433
00:21:11,382 --> 00:21:12,124
Me, too.

434
00:21:12,174 --> 00:21:16,724
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